And now for the 4th installment of Larry the Lawyer, a Matthew Dukes Production…
We’re coming back! We promise. It’s been quite a while since our last post. But some new things have come to light. And we will hopefully proceed to poke fun at those new things.
And we have been offered the chance to run a really fantastic comic strip every so often on the blog. Stay tuned!!!
We posted something a while back about the lady in Green Bay who stole her daughter’s identity and tried out for the cheerleading squad. You can click here for our take on that piece of news.
Well, turns out that Ms. Brown is going away for a bit. Back in September, she was committed to making the cheerleading team at Ashwaubenon High School. After her court appearance, she’s now just committed. That’s right, Ms. Wendy Brown will get to spend the next 3 years in a mental health facility. Check here for that story.
Do mental health institutions field sports teams?
We were unaware of the fact that Britney Spears was in Australia this week.
In light of the breaking news involving OJ Mayo and the Bill Duffy Associates Sports Agency, we decided to come up with a list. Let us first note that we are not fans of Kelvin Sampson. In fact, we have spent much time here bashing the guy. That being said, he made phone calls he was not supposed to make. Phone calls. And now, for the second time in the last 3 years, USC finds itself in the middle of a scandal involving an athlete receiving money and gifts from sports agents. And for the second time in 3 years, we assume the NCAA will do nothing.
And so we bring you…
The Top 5 Things Kelvin Sampson Wishes He Had Done Differently To Avoid Punishment From The NCAA
(5) Not made those 550 impermissible calls while head coach at Oklahoma.
(4) Not made even more of the same type of impermissible calls that he got in trouble for making at Oklahoma while he was the head coach at Indiana.
(3) Had a sports agent make those recruiting calls for him. Calls he would “know nothing about.”
(2) Not made recruiting calls at all. Instead, just have sports agents lure kids to his school with offers of cash, televisions, and cell phones. Luring he “knew nothing about.”
(1) Coached at USC.
Please note that today, May 1st, is a special day. Why?
Because, from our research, today is the first day in the history of Todd Boyd’s contributions to ESPN’s Page 2 that he wrote an article that did not play the race card. Really, it’s true.
We were as amazed as everyone else probably was. We did not know he had it in him. We were under the impression that Boyd was fully incapable of writing an article just about sports, or people, without making it a racial issue.
But somehow, today he had an article posted where he just discussed that he thinks the NBA MVP should be chosen after the playoffs. It was an unbelievably rational article, especially coming from Boyd.
So, congrats to you, Boyd. Not only is this the first time you have ever written an article where you do not inexplicably bring race to the forefront; it’s also the first article of yours we have decided not to bash.
At least that’s Elizabeth Hurley’s story.
In a London Times interview highlighted in this article, the (quite attractive) “actress” is quoted as saying: “Shooting bikinis is now my life, which, as you can imagine, is unmitigated hell.” Ms. Hurley went on to state: “I can’t think of anything worse in the world than another bikini shoot — and I’ve got two next month. It’s unbearable, and I bring it all on myself. I’ve got nobody else to blame. It’s literally torture. If you get a photographer you don’t know, of course, you think, ‘Oh God.’ But if you signed on for the gig, sadly, you have to go and be jolly in a skimpy white bikini. So I now rely on nice photographers, and a bit of retouching.” (We added the italics for our favorite segment.)
Now, the only question is… where do we start ripping into
After reading this article about former second baseman Chuck Knoblauch claiming he has “nothing to hide” in terms of the steroid investigation, we decided to look at ole Knobber a little more carefully. Knoblauch was named in the Mitchell Report as a user of performance-enhancing drugs, but he has not yet come out to refute anything in the report. Read the rest of this entry »