In an effort to best comply with the NCAA’s pointless sanction of making the Alabama football team forfeit wins we are doing our part.  Clearly, now that there are 21 less wins for the Tide, there should be 21 less positive game recaps for the team.  Now, we start with what Alabama thought was a 2-0 start to the 2005 season.

9/3/05 - Middle Tennessee State upsets Alabama 17-16

With the Tide only up by a slim margin of 9-7 at halftime, the Raiders gain confidence from an inspired locker room speech by their head coach.  While Alabama drives for what looked like a touchdown to put the game out of reach. Brodie Croyle’s 13 yard pass to Tyrone Prothro is actually intercepted by a MTSU defensive back and returned 100 yards for a score, giving the visitor’s a 14-9 lead with 10:25 remaining in the third.   Alabama answers with a long drive to take a 16-14 lead on a touchdown by Tim Castille with 2:53 to play in the 3rd.  Bama fans sit in amazement as coach Mike Shula opts to not go for the 2-point conversion and extend the lead to 3.  The decision to kick the PAT comes back to haunt Shula, as MTSU’s Colby Smith knocks home a 35-yard field goal with 7:00 to play to provide the winning margin.  Shula decides to punt from midfield on 4th-and-2 with 2:02 remaining in hopes of getting the ball back, but the Raiders earn one first down and run out the clock for the huge upset.

9/10/05 - Prothro Almost Saves The Day, But Bama Loses to USM 

With the Crimson Tide down 21-10 and time running out in the first half, Croyle lofted a long ball down to Tyrone Prothro who very nearly made one of the greatest catches of all time.  Had Prothro hung on, the Tide likely would have scored to cut the lead to 21-17, and the catch would have been featured on top 10 lists across the nation for years to come.  Instead, instant replay shows that the ball hit the ground without Prothro controlling it.  Taking an 11-point lead into the half, the Golden Eagles slow down the game in the second half, controlling the ball en route to a 24-17 win.

9/17/05 - Shula Looks For Statement Win, Spurrier Teaches Him A Lesson

Reeling from two early losses to non-conference opponents, Alabama never threatens in a road contest versus South Carolina.  Spurrier’s Gamecocks show up ready to play and the Tide was still clearly feeling the effects from the two losses to open the season.  A balanced passing and rushing attack from South Carolina lead the home team to an easy 37-14 win.   Spurrier rejoices as he finally gets revenge for the Crimson Tide upsetting his Gators in Gainesville in 1999.

We just read that the Detroit Pistons are firing head coach Michael Curry after hiring him just one year ago to attempt to coach a steaming bag of cow poo.  We feel bad for Curry, adn we think it’s really poor form to hire some guy, give him nothing to work with, then fire him after he somehow makes the playoffs.  Curry led his team to a 39-43 record.

If you gave Phil Jackson a team with Aaron Afflalo, Kwame Brown, Will Bynum, Rip Hamilton, Walter Hermann, Allen Iverson, Amir Johnson, Jason Maxiell, Antonio McDyess, Tayshaun Prince. Walter Sharp, Rodney Stuckey, and Rasheed Wallace — he’d have gone 40-42 at best.

Maybe drafting Darko Milicic over Carmelo Anthony in the 2003 draft might have been the real mistake.

Good luck, Detroit.

We have just read where former Cub great Ryne Sandberg has commented that he doesn’t think Sammy Sosa belong in the Hall of Fame.

Sosa’s response to our inside sources… “I barely can speak English, and even I know the way you spell that name should be R-Y-A-N.”

While we can all agree that the story of Dirk Nowitzki and his crazy, lying, ex-fiancee Crista Ann Taylor is pretty messed up, we have heard some rumors that this cloud might have at least one silver lining.  We have been told by some sources that, after reading this article about a Dirk interview with a German publication, David Hasselhoff will be composing a song in Nowitzki’s honor.  If so, we can only assume that the song will be a number one hit in Dirk’s home nation for the 3 years following it’s release.

The Hoff told sources that it was the least he could after hearing about Dirk singing his songs at the free throw line in the 2006 finals.  We’ve been told the tentative title of the song is “A Few Little Dirks Running Around (It Won’t Be Easy To Win My Heart).”

I think we’re on 6.  Here’s the latest Matthew Dukes Production…

Sources have told ESPN that USC is looking for a coach with pro experience to be its next basketball coach.  (Check here for the article.)

Why?  We assume because they need a coach who is used to dealing with players who are being paid to play.

In the 5 games of the NBA Finals, here’s what Pau Gasol did:

Game 1 - 16 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 blocks

Game 2 - 24 pts, 10 rebs, 3 asts, 1 block

Game 3 - 23 pts, 3 rebs, 1 asts, 2 blocks

Game 4 - 16 pts, 10 rebs, 1 asts

Game 5 - 14 pts, 15 rebs, 3 asts, 4 blocks

Also, Gasol held Dwight Howard to just 11.4 points per game.

And now here’s the pertinent blurb from NBA.com on February 1, 2008…

“The Los Angeles Lakers have acquired forward Pau Gasol in a trade with the Memphis Grizzlies, it was announced today by General Manager Mitch Kupchak. The Lakers will also receive the Grizzlies second round draft choice in 2010. In exchange Memphis will receive forward Kwame Brown, guard Javaris Crittenton, guard Aaron McKie (who the Lakers signed earlier today), the draft rights to Marc Gasol and first round picks in 2008 and 2010.”

After a failed attempt to make it as one of the doctors on “Grey’s Anatomy,” Andrew McLardy will now try to win the U.S. Open.