Here’s the exciting conclusion of the fifth installment of Larry the Lawyer, a Matthew Dukes Production.

You likely have seen or read about the epic meltdown by Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano on Wednesday.  If not, check here.  Yesterday, the MLB announced that Zambrano would be suspended 6 games and fined $3,000.

But the MLB failed to mention news from the the Players’ Association regarding the umpire involved, Mark Carlson.  It appears that Carlson is being suspended for 2 games by the Players’ Association after also being ejected from the game… by Zambrano.

“We feel that Carlos was right on the call, that the player was out at the plate,” an unnamed representative told us.  “And so, we are acknowledging Zambrano’s ejection of Mr. Carlson, which occured just seconds after Zambrano himself was tossed, and we are suspending him for 2 games.”

We have your back, Phil.  After the Lakers lost Game 4 to the Nuggets on Monday, Lakers coach Phil Jackson had this to say: “Basketball is a game where the aggressor gets the advantage.  And tonight we didn’t know what a foul was and what wasn’t a foul. Start of the game, we got guys knocked around going to the basket, they said, ‘We’re going to let those things go.’ By the end of the ballgame, little fouls were being called all over the place.”

We think Phil went on to say, “And take Kobe for example.  He has only shot 53 free throws this series.  That’s right, think about it.  Only 53 free throws in 4 playoff games.   That’s barely over 13 per game.  The refs are killing us.”

Side note: apparently Phil Jackson can only win titles when he has two of the Top 50 players of all-time on his team.  Having a measly one of the Top 50 is basically unfair to him.

With the Clippers getting the first pick after Tuesday night’s NBA draft lottery, it looks like Blake Griffin will be able to pick up in the NBA right where he left off in college.  In his last collegiate game, Griffin put up an impressive 23 points and 16 rebounds; however, it was in a 12-point loss to UNC.

You may have read - or click here if you have not - about the Pittsburgh Steelers’ James Harrison deciding to skip the visit to the White House when President Obama welcomes the Super Bowl champs.

Part of his reasoning for skipping the visit is as follows: that if the Cardinals had managed to win the game, then “He (Obama) would have invited Arizona.”

We have since learned that Harrison will also be returning his Super Bowl ring to commissioner Roger Goodell.  Apparently, teammate Hines Ward informed Harrison that, had Arizona won the game, the Cards would have received the championship ring and not the Steelers.  “That ain’t right,” Harrison supposedly said.

To go one step further, Harrison has also vowed to never lay eyes on the Lombardi Trophy proudly displayed at Heinz Field, for the reasons stated above.

The gift that keeps on giving… another Matthew Dukes Production.

We recently read where Cal Ripken Jr. stated at a banquet that he would really like to know why Alex Rodriguez used performance enhancing drugs.  He went as far as to say, “I’m going to make it my business to find out.”

We have spoken with A-Rod, and his response was: “I really want to know how Cal made it through 2,632 consecutive games without ever getting caught.”

And now for the 4th installment of Larry the Lawyer, a Matthew Dukes Production…