The Magician’s Alliance — which has been remarkably silent for the last two years — is back in the news this week as they are coming to the defense of aspiring magician Jim Piculas. Recently, Mr. Piculas was fired from his substitute teaching job at Rushe Middle School in Land ‘O Lakes, Fla. Why? Because he was accused of wizardry after performing an illusion for his class where he made a toothpick disappear. ***

For more on this actual story, check here.

Our inside source has told us that when asked to divulge how he made the toothpick disappear by his loser-ass supervisor, Mr. Picalus refused to give away his secret. While he is not a member of the Magician’s Alliance, founded by Gob Bluth, he hopes to one day be invited into their circle. And we think that holding his ground and not spilling the beans on his illusion is a good start.

“We have taken notice of the steadfastness with which Mr. Piculas has refused to give in to this civilian request for an explanation of his trick, er, illusion,” an unnamed spokesman from the Alliance told our source. “We have his name on our radar screen now, and he will receive strong consideration for membership.”

When our source asked Mr. Piculas if he had any regrets, he said there was only one: that he did not play Europe’s “Final Countdown” in the background while he performed his illusion. We can’t help but agree.

When we spoke with the idiot teachers’ supervisor, he had this to say: “Look, Mr. Piculas is lucky we did not accuse him of being a witch. Wizardry is a less serious offense, which only results in job termination. Had he been accused of being a witch, an option we considered, we would have thrown him in the lake to see if he floated. If he floated, he would likely have been burned at the stake.”

But on a more serious note, being accused of wizardry is no laughing matter. If it was up to us, we would ban all the wizards straight back to Middle Earth where they belong. There is no place for wizards in our society.

But on an actual serious note, if Jim Piculas needs a lawyer to sue the hell out of these jackasses, we know three pretty good ones.

***We have been informed not to call what he did a “trick,” because we have been told that “a trick is something a whore does for money or cocaine.”  Click here for more info.