Sorry if we’re a bit slow on this one…
After boring the hell out of viewers and attempting to ruin the NBA playoffs, the San Antonio Spurs got a taste of their own medicine on Monday night. That’s right, they had to spend the night on their grounded plane in New Orleans on Monday. Sources say Spurs’ coach Gregg Popovich, who has not dunked, used the grounded plane as a coaching tool. He explained to his team how this is the pace his team needs to play at to continue to win.
In a further bit of irony, one member of the ground crew described the problem with the plane by saying, “The wheel just flopped off. No one even touched it, the thing just fell without contact.”
Upon hearing that Adam Jones, who has dunked, was caught stealing on April 14th, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, who has not dunked, denied Pacman’s request for reinstatement into the league. When informed that the Adam Jones in question was actually an outfielder on the Orioles who happens to share the same name as the NFL player and thrown out by the Blue Jays’ catcher while attempting to steal second base, Goodell banished the former Titans cornerback from the league for life for lying to him.
That’s the question we pose to on Robert Horry. They might still be proud of him, but it’s much tougher over the last two years than it was for the previous 36 years of his life.
Horry, who has dunked,*** was at it again with his “pick” from behind on David West, who has also dunked, last night. It’s rather difficult watching the Spurs these days. If they were in a movie, they would be the underhanded, cheap-shotting bad guy team that the good guy team had to overcome. The good guys here, of course, are the young Hornets.
But look at what has become of Horry’s career. He is a glorified Nehemiah Ingram. Who is Ingram? Other than a player who has dunked, Ingram is that “player” that Temple coach John Cheney sent in the game to foul against St. Joseph’s in 2005. Cheney, who we don’t think has dunked, was suspended for the season after his hard foul instructions led to a broken arm for a St. Joe’s player. Read the rest of this entry »
Have you happened upon the newest advertising angle for the WNBA? Well, it’s idiotic. The one we saw has former Tennessee stand-out Candace Parker uttering lines like: “Sorry, you couldn’t pay me to watch women’s basketball.” Then, at the end, they show a few clips that apparently refute all the derogatory comments. As in, those are things people say about the crappy WNBA… but they’re not true!
Um, yes they are. And it does not seem a very good idea to highlight your bad points. How would you feel if you walked into the dentist’s office to get your wisdom teeth removed, and the dentist starts with, “I’m sure you think I am a terrible dentist since I went to dentistry school in Guam, but you would be wrong!” Ah, that eases the concerns.
So, to make sure we had seen the commercial correctly, we searched for it on the internet. And we came across this article from the LA Times about the new ad campaign.
In that article, you can see the clip and look into the flawed reasoning for the commercials. But, this article contained one fantastic line that may change the way we run this site. The author wrote the following:
“Parker, who has dunked, said winning male fans is tough, but ‘once they see it, I feel like they’ll come back.’”
Who has dunked!!!
Imagine if every article about an athlete informed us of whether or not that athlete had dunked? How much longer would columns about the NBA run?
So, we’re going to attempt, over the next few weeks here on this blog, to let you know whether the subject of a post on here has or has not dunked.
We assume it may go something like this… Last night, Kobe Bryant, who has dunked, had a huge game for the Lakers. Or perhaps… This idiot writer Joe Santoro, who has not dunked, wrote one of his worst columns yet.
Maybe it will catch, maybe not. Maybe it will just barely graze the bottom of the net (a.k.a. as close to dunking as any writer on this blog can get).
We were unaware of the fact that Britney Spears was in Australia this week.
In light of the breaking news involving OJ Mayo and the Bill Duffy Associates Sports Agency, we decided to come up with a list. Let us first note that we are not fans of Kelvin Sampson. In fact, we have spent much time here bashing the guy. That being said, he made phone calls he was not supposed to make. Phone calls. And now, for the second time in the last 3 years, USC finds itself in the middle of a scandal involving an athlete receiving money and gifts from sports agents. And for the second time in 3 years, we assume the NCAA will do nothing.
And so we bring you…
The Top 5 Things Kelvin Sampson Wishes He Had Done Differently To Avoid Punishment From The NCAA
(5) Not made those 550 impermissible calls while head coach at Oklahoma.
(4) Not made even more of the same type of impermissible calls that he got in trouble for making at Oklahoma while he was the head coach at Indiana.
(3) Had a sports agent make those recruiting calls for him. Calls he would “know nothing about.”
(2) Not made recruiting calls at all. Instead, just have sports agents lure kids to his school with offers of cash, televisions, and cell phones. Luring he “knew nothing about.”
(1) Coached at USC.
The Magician’s Alliance — which has been remarkably silent for the last two years — is back in the news this week as they are coming to the defense of aspiring magician Jim Piculas. Recently, Mr. Piculas was fired from his substitute teaching job at Rushe Middle School in Land ‘O Lakes, Fla. Why? Because he was accused of wizardry after performing an illusion for his class where he made a toothpick disappear. ***
For more on this actual story, check here.
Our inside source has just learned some not-so-shocking, breaking news from the NFL. The Steelers’ top draft pick, running back Rashard Mendenhall, has been suspended for at least the first 8 games of the upcoming season.
It appears the suspension was based on the incident described in this article in which Mendenhall was robbed at gunpoint early Monday in Chicago. Altercations involving NFL players and weapons will not be tolerated.
“I have no choice but to suspend Mr. Mendenhall,” Goodell reportedly told our source. “On Monday, the former Illinois running back took part in an incident where the was a weapon involved. Our policy is to suspend that player immediately, then possibly re-visit the situation after week 8. If Mr. Mendenhall can prove to me that he will no longer be robbed at gun point, then I will consider re-instating him.”
When our source asked about the fact that Mendenhall was not the one brandishing the weapon, he supposedly told our source that detail was “utter irregardlessness.”
When asked about another NFL player possibly involved in a weapons incident - Marvin Harrison - Goodell reportedly told our source: “Nah, Marvin won’t be suspended. Peyton vouched for him, and that’s good enough for me.”
Free Pacman!!!