We first read about this story yesterday involving an attack by a monkey in Rutherford, NC.  However, our inside sources today are reporting that the monkey plans on appealing immediately on the grounds of a violation of its due process rights, namely a faulty line-up produced by the authorities.

The monkey, who asked to remain nameless, claims that just a lineup of “pets” made it easy for the woman to identify him,  the only monkey in the entire lineup.  In fact, the monkey has supplied us with the photos used in the actual lineup utilized by police and animal control.

We here at CIV think the monkey has a pretty solid case.  Additionally, the monkey has claimed he will also file a lawsuit for defamation based on the clerk implying he might have rabies.  The monkey feels certain rabies were not an option, seeing as “the animal never really went outdoors.”