In an effort to add a little levity to his press conference following a 104-59 loss to the Celtics , Knicks coach Isiah Thomas employed some cartoon help.
After delivering the following line about his team - “We take two steps forward and one giant step back” - MC Skat Cat magically appeared out of nowhere to chime in with, “We go together ‘cuz opposites attract.”
The Clemson basketball team is still undefeated, and the Clemson football team is lamenting on how its promising season somehow fell apart.
In light of the information about Barry Bonds being indicted by a federal grand jury, we have gotten word that Roger Goodell has announced that Bonds will be suspended from the NFL. The suspension takes effect immediately and will last through all of next season as well. At the 10-game mark of next season, Goodell claims the NFL will review the file and determine if Bonds’ suspension should be lifted early.
“We will not tolerate even the possibility of someone lying to a federal grand jury,” Goodell allegedly said. “We knew that to keep our league at a respectable level, we had to act on this Bonds situation immediately and with an iron fist. We will review this suspension next season, but Mr. Bonds should not get his hopes up about playing in our league until 2009.”
When one reporter mentioned that Bonds played baseball, Goodell responded to the comment by kicking that reporter from the press room and suspending him from the NFL also. After that reporter was removed, Goodell responded to questions about the severity of an indictment.
“Yes, I know the saying that a grand jury would indict a ham sandwich,” Goodell reportedly said. “But look, I suspended Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones for an entire season before he was ever convicted anything. That’s how we do it in the NFL.”
Emails to Bonds’ lawyers were not returned as of this post.
Seeing as college basketball season is upon us, we decided we would throw together a quick season preview post. Only, this preview is specifically for all the ladies out there.
‘Nuff said.
Here’s the link for the image, as we take no credit for it: http://www.tyler50.com/images
(Note: In the history of portraits, we would place this one just above Dorian Gray, but just below George Costanza on the leather couch.)
So, you know those blind taste tests that coffee ads sometimes do, or maybe it’s a Coke versus Pepsi set-up. Well, we’re going to give you a blind taste test for college football. We’ll give you the facts on two teams without telling you who they each are, then we’ll complain to the best of our abilities at the end. Sound fun? Read the rest of this entry »
SAN FRANCISCO - Every now and then, we here at CIV come across a newsworthy story and decided to run with it. Well, on the heels of this interview on MSNBC, we have also learned something else Barry Bonds will be boycotting - his computer’s keyboard.
While Bonds admits he has not looked at any keyboard before other than his own, he has not thrown out the idea of suing Apple for defamation. When he glanced more carefully at his personalized computer just months ago, he disovered what was sitting right there, just above the key for number “8.”
“It it a great insult to me that when I pay them good money for a computer, that this company would have the gall to put an asterisk on my keyboard,” Bonds allegedly told our source. “And they think I wouldn’t see it? My typing ability has never been suspect. I have never taking any typing classes outside of those offered as a 10th grade elective.”
Bonds apparently is very emotional about this issue, claiming he will not be able to start his own blog to rival that of Curt Schilling. But Bonds is a man of principle and will be boycotting his keyboard until the asterisk is removed.
“I don’t think you can put an asterisk in the field of typing,” Bonds allegedly told our inside source. “And I don’t think that Apple or Dell can accept an asterisk. You cannot give people the freedom, the right to alter history or mess up a perfectly fine keyboard. You can’t do it. There’s no such thing as an asterisk on keyboards.”
When asked whether this anger might pass and he might actually type again, Bonds did not relent.
“I will never type on that keyboard again. Never,” Bonds said. “Barry Bonds will not type.
“That’s my emotions now. That’s how I feel now. When I decide to retire five years from now, we’ll see where they are at that moment,” he added. “We’ll see where they are at that time, and maybe I’ll reconsider. But it’s their position and where their position will be will be the determination of what my decision will be at that time.”
When watching the post-game interviews after Ohio State’s upset loss on Saturday, we were struck by something: how awful it would be to have Ohio State coach Jim Tressel as your dad. Then the wheels started turning. And so, today we bring the top 10 college football coaches you would like to have as your dad. Tomorrow, the top 10 coaches you would hate to have as your dad (and yes, Tressel will be high on that list).
Top 10 College Football Coaches You Would Love To Have As Your Dad Read the rest of this entry »